Wacky Weekend Question – Should pastors that die and go to heaven receive unemployment checks?
COMMENTARY: There are certain televangelists that I don’t think will be up there, because they would try to game the system and get workman’s comp too.
COMENTARIO: Hay algunos tele-evangelistas que no creo que vayan a estar ahí arriba, porque tratan de engañar al sistema y conseguir mañosamente el dinero del trabajador también.
»Out of curiosity one time, I went online to see if they actually had a church of Satan. I found one and called them.»
»When the secretary answered the phone I said, “Out of curiosity, what do you guys pay a month for heat?” She was about to tell me, but when she realized what I was implying, she hung up. I was surprised by her rudeness, because I always thought people that were going to hell had a sense of humor.» (Oops!)
Unconfirmed Breaking News * Com
BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Actress Katie Holmes files for a divorce from Tom Cruise after a five year marriage.
Holmes’ attorney states that their split had nothing to do with ongoing rumors that Cruise is (?????), but she said it did create a problem when he repeatedly maxed out her Victoria’s Secret credit card and refused to give an explanation.
http://unconfirmedbreakingnews.com/2011/03/breaking-news-173/
BREAKING NEWS – Mexico City, Mexico – Enrique Pena Nieto of the Revolutionary Institutional Party, gets elected as President of Mexico. He said the economy will be his top priority, and he promised to work tirelessly to bring down the high cost of shipping drugs to America. (Oh my God!)
Enrike Penʹya Nʹeto Revolyutsionnoĭ institutsionalʹnoĭ partii, poluchaet izbran prezidentom Meksiki.
On skazal, chto ekonomika budet yego glavnym prioritetom, i on obeshchal nyeustanno rabotatʹ , chtoby snizitʹ vysokie raskhody na dostavku narkotikov v Ameriku. О, мой Бог! (russian)
Enrique Peña Nieto del Partito Rivoluzionario Istituzionale, viene eletto Presidente del Messico. Ha detto che l’economia sarà la sua priorità assoluta, e ha promesso di lavorare instancabilmente per ridurre l’elevato costo di spedizione stupefacenti in America. (Oops!)
(http://unconfirmedbreakingnews.com/2012/07/breaking-news-1372/)
Oh my God! (english) * Oh mon Dieu! (french) * Oh meu Deus! (portuguese) * Oh mein Gott! (german) * О, мой Бог! (russian)
HOW DO YOU RATE THIS?
a) Not funny at all b) Perhaps some funny c) Yes, it’s funny d) I’m crawling with laughter… serious!
Disclaimer
Everything written here is in jest. The news is all too often depressing, and the world desperately needs to have something to smile about as they start their day. Our primary objective is to bring smiles, and hopefully laughter on a regular basis to our readers. All pubic figures are fair game. We feel that people should learn to laugh at themselves (and others), and to avoid taking themselves or life too serious, because that’s no way to live. We would also like to think, that the people that we take jabs at would also find us amusing and not offensive.
Deslinde de responsabilidades
Todo lo escrito aquí es en broma. La noticia es muy a menudo deprimente, y el mundo necesita desesperadamente tener algo para sonreír, ya que comenzar el día. Nuestro principal objetivo es llevar sonrisas, risas y espero que de forma regular a nuestros lectores. Todas las cifras del pubis son un juego justo. Creemos que la gente debe aprender a reírse de sí mismos (y otros), y para evitar tomar ellos mismos o la vida demasiado en serio, porque esa no es manera de vivir. También nos gustaría pensar, que la gente que tomamos a golpes también nos encontraría divertido y no ofensivo.
Words / palabras 606
International News for Homework 